“Comparison is the best way to judge our progress but not with others, compare your yesterday with your today.” Anonymous
Oh man, if there is one game that knows only losers its the game of comparison. No matter who you are, what you do, how much you have or don’t have, you will always (and I do mean always!) find somebody that has more, less, is better looking, richer, you name it. And yet, for some reason, here we are – most of us more than willing to engage. What is it about comparing that is apparently so attractive that we can’t let it go?
Here’s the attraction of comparing: it is the holy grail of low esteem. Because, if you compare yourself to others and find that yes, you are richer, skinnier, better looking, have a way cooler job, then it must mean that you totally made it in this world, right?
And there you have it. The reason why we all play this game. We seek validation of ourselves outside of our very selves. Yet the universe has a little trick up its sleeve here: you will never get your self esteem from somebody else. Hence, it’s called self-esteem. Not ‘esteem you have gained by comparing yourself and being better than others’, or something a little shorter and catchier, but to that affect.
You will have guessed the main message here: stop playing this game. You will not get better at it, you will not win and most importantly, you will never ever feel better about yourself if that means that somebody else needs to be worth less than you.
WCYDN (What Can You Do Now)
- The first step is to become aware. Catch yourself in the act every time you start doing it. Instead of comparing, ask yourself why you are comparing. Is this a person that you admire maybe? Is this a certain skill that you would like to have? What triggered you to start comparing – now that is valuable information.
- Realise that comparing yourself to others is simply very unfair to yourself. You don’t know which path others have taken in order to get where they are today and what they have done in order to get there.
- Whenever you feel the urge to play the game, stop, pick up a pen and paper and write down three things, people, situations, whatever, that you are grateful for. Really go inward here and experience the joy of the gratefulness. That should stop you right in your tracks.
Here’s the thing. I don’t know you. But I know one thing about you. You are here for a reason, and you are more than enough. You, in your very own way that nobody else has or can, are beautiful, talented and skilled. The world desperately craves you to be you, and to hold yourself to your highest standard and not to a standard in comparison to others.